The Altar, our marriage series for April, has been amazing! David asked me to join him on stage for the last two talks to help navigate these murky and bewildering waters of marriage. Basically, my job is to speak female and Dave is the manslator. Let me give a brief run down of what we felt were a woman’s top 5 needs in marriage. He came up with an amusing acrostic to help us convey these needs to the men in our church. Women need: T-A-C-O-S and not just because we love chips and guac!
T – Is for Talking. Talk to your wife, tell her you love her and listen, listen, listen.
A – Is for Affection. Your wife needs to know you love her. She needs to know you still love her, especially if you (the man) are being grumpy. Men, you can change the whole direction of an argument if you can stop in the middle of it, grab your wife’s hand and say,”I know we aren’t happy with each other right now, but I love you so much and we are going to get through this. We are going to be fine.” Huge, boys, huge!
C – Is for Commitment. Your wife needs to know you are committed to her. That you are still committed to her and the children and the marriage, no matter what it takes. See fight deflating quote above.
O – Is for Openness. Your willingness to be open with your wife is huge. Allow her to ask you anything without flinching and when it feels like she is “coming at you”, don’t close off. Brace yourself like a man and take it, hold her and be patient. Don’t get angry and don’t run or walk away. (I know, these are tough, but Dave came up with them based on years of experience and good counseling!)
S – Is not for what men might hope, sorry guys, that doesn’t make the top 5! S is for Security. Your wife wants to feel secure in the relationship. Relationally and financially. She wants/needs to know that you are willing and making the effort to do whatever it takes to make the relationship and family stable, secure. She wants to know you work hard to provide and work hard to have a great relationship with both your wife and your kids.
I know guys, these aren’t easy, but next week I’ll give you the run down of the man’s top 5 needs, and guess what makes the top 5 of his list?!